Halloween: A primer for parents to be

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Dear Parent to Be:

Soon, holidays–all of them–will take on new meaning for you.

But let me warn you: Halloween may take you by surprise.

At Thanksgiving, your biggest worry is to make sure your kid doesn’t upend the gravy boat, scalding Aunt Edna.

But at Halloween… your parenting skills are laid bare before all your child’s peers.

If you’re a crafty person, and one who plans ahead of time, you’ll come to consider Halloween one of your favorite holidays. Your child will be gazed upon with envy because you’ve come up with an idea and costume that are original.

If, on the other hand, you’re like me (ie: not crafty and prone to cobbling things together at the last minute), then you should just go ahead and brace yourself for enduring ridicule and shame now. Either that, or start getting handy with the needle and thread.

Do not-I repeat, do not- think that it’s okay to toss a white sheet over your kid’s head and write “BOO” on the chest. Not cool. First of all: ghosts, witches, pumpkins, and princesses: they are all done. And don’t put your kid in a party store costume you bought an hour before trick or treating–the only ones left on the rack will be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and they were “in” when my brother was a kid. That was about 18 years ago.

I’m warning you: Halloween can make or break your cool factor as a parent. Start planning now. Don’t blow it.

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