Improve employment, stimulate the economy with Dial-a-Pee

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Around month 6 of a pregnancy, you get to the point–oh, shoot, who am I kidding?– *I* got to the point where I had to pee all the time.

I wasn’t about to let a little urinary urgency stop me from going about my merry way, so I quickly became expert in finding bathrooms around the city. New York’s not exactly known for being progressive when it comes to public peeing (and I really detest the 10 minute long line for the two bathroom stalls at the Union Square Whole Foods), so I had my work cut out for me.

The way Francisco and I figured it, we could safely sally forth into the city and continue our active lives as long as we could find one reliably clean, accessible, and free bathroom in each part of the city we frequent.

Union Square area? The Strand’s bathroom. (only danger there is the “free” part is often undermined by the fact that I can’t resist buying a book)

34th Street & 8th, near the post office? That would be Borders’ bathroom.

59th & Columbus Circle? Whole Foods. For some reason, the bathroom at this location is better than at 14th.

42nd Street/Midtown? Marriott’s bathroom (“It even has auto dispensed hand sanitizer! What more could you want?” Francisco asks).

*
So here’s what I’m getting to.

The economy’s in the toilet (still). Unemployment is high (still). Pregnant women and new moms would be as happy as I am if they could work from home. So…

I’m happy to contribute my knowledge to Dial-A-Pee.

If people spend money to make phone calls to TV psychics, TIME LIFE’s book and CD collection, QVC’s latest set of must-have kitchen devices and cubic zirconia jewelry, and the U.S. Mint’s painted collectible plates with images of Barack Obama and Michael Jackson, well then surely some folks (especially *other* pregnant women) will pay to Dial-a-Pee.

From the call fees, we could pay stipends to women who staff the phones, dispensing advice about their city’s best, most reliable toilets. I’m telling you- this is a business idea that can’t fail.

Call now! Operators are standing by.

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