All things considered, the first trimester wasn’t bad. I’ve certainly heard worse stories and I don’t think I can really complain. But in the first trimester, I was just getting used to the idea of being pregnant while dealing with the physical changes of being pregnant. Not to mention the emotional changes.
Plus the first trimester coincided with the winter, when I’m generally bearish anyhow, desperate for sunlight, looking out the living room window every morning for the first sign of green buds forcing themselves from the tree’s branches.
But the second trimester… I think I could be pregnant in the second trimester forever. I feel good–great, even. I even feel like I look good, which is just downright bizarre (does something happen with one’s neurons during the second trimester?)… I mean, I’m gaining weight, I alternate between two pair of pants, and even under the best of circumstances, I have never thought of myself as sexy or even beautiful. I’m average and that’s always been ok.
The pregnancy wheel says this is all normal for the second trimester. It also says that sex is often exceptional during the second trimester, and without offending your delicate sensibilities, dear reader, I can confirm that this is, indeed, the case.
And then there’s this: in the second trimester, I’ve settled into the idea of pregnancy, of parenthood, and of change… without really having to confront any of its wild extremes just yet. My belly isn’t so big that I’m uncomfortable. It’s not so hot outside that I’m whining. I’m not so close to giving birth that I’m having a melt down about all the how tos and things to do.
The green buds are now little leaves on the trees. I see the growth every morning. A neighbor up the street has this eye-poppingly beautiful garden that, because of a cool spring, has just gone on and on. Yesterday brought the first roses.
If we decide to have a second child, please remind me how wonderful the second trimester is when I’m griping about the first one. And three months from now, remind me of the beauty of this particular moment.